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Carmela Rose Victoria Mazzella-Muniz Poetry Page

Gavel Banging

Court's in Session
By C.R.V.M 2001

As I keep walking there I see
The shadow of what once used to be me.
In a place of darkness my heart was cast
Because of what I committed in the past.
A tear rolls down my pale face
As my heart begins to once again race.
Court is now in session
I have but one confession
You can not go home again and i know why
Because home is what makes you want to cry.
A thought in passing says i'm okay
But it is so faint it just fades away.
Regrets, I have not any
But memories - I have many.
I run faster to try and get away but you can not out run your mind.
Why is it the past can not stay where it belongs, far left behind.
I was so young and naive back then thought it all just a game
Now as a woman I know the price you pay for fame.
Well not exactly fame but popularity
How it felt to have them all think you're pretty.
The price was high I now see
But back then i thought it was free.
Now I sit as judge and jury to pass sentence this time
No more shall I fall victim in this lifetime.
I have lost so much of myself I can not recognize
If the person staring me back in the mirror is me or just a disguise.
I have been lost so many times I need not count again
I thought to be happy I had to be with all those men.
I have been betrayed and discarded one too many times
I vow from now on it is I who do the crimes.
My turn to be ruthless to be the biggest bitch
Time for the switch.
I ask no one for forgiveness, I claim only pain
This is my way to cope and stop from going insane.
This time I will hurt them , they are the ones to fall
I will be the bad one , the one not to return the call.
I'll be the one to play and leave not to return
The sentence now has been cast ,court is now adjourned.

TORN
by C.R.V.M

Lost in a cruel world, she sought love in another's embrace
Love was never found, no sorrow and hate came from that place.
Naive yet not so innocent, she fought to be strong.
He showed her his love but it was wrong.
He took her alone knowing she'd not fight
She bleed that entire night.
She screamed in the darkness, now needing the light,
There is no other way for her to fall asleep at night.
She seeks to find a companion, a man to be her true mate
When she does she says it will be a miracle of fate.
She's tired of the heartache, had enough of the pain.
Now she just wants to see how much happiness she can gain.

Rain cloud

Rain
by CRVM 1998

Terrified and lonely, frightened beyond belief,
Crying out all the while, full of pain and grief.
Hurt and alone fighting for life
Faced with only agony and strife
Never thinking that a smile will grace her face
Knowing alll the while he'll never let her go from this place.
Graced with the virtues, patience, kindness and love
She stops her fight and prays to the Lord above.
The monster lays deep inside her while she bears the pain
She cries out for mercy, her tears are the falling rain.
Her cries are the thunder and her spirit the fire
Her breath is the wind and her hair the color of a rose briar.
The storm will come to pass but her heart will not be whole.
She will have lost her mind but he would lose his soul.

THE DAY WE LOST THE WORLD

By Carmela Rose Victoria Mazzella-Muniz Sept. 2001

Twisted metal, broken bones, broken glass, planes from the sky
Times of disbelief and shock hear the nation cry.
No one can seem to find the words to say how we really feel
We will need to take time for all of us to heal.
In these times of hatred, in these hours of pain we must remember God is always with us.

They can bombard our buildings, kill innocent civilians, we will once again rise
We will sort through the rubble and sort through the steel and find out the truth from the lies.
From the ashes and debris the truth will be told
It's the same for all the ages new and old
Good will win over evil.

We stand strong and united because divided we will fall.
Volunteers were needed and we responded to the call.
As the twin wonders collapsed so did many of New Yorkers hearts.
We know what sentiments this tragedy imparts.
We will not lay down and go gentle into the dying of the light.

Many will lay their lives on the line to rescue those who lay covered in ash.
Many will recover, many more will be found dead but life will not stop because of this crash.
Our skyline may never be the same, but we are survivors and we will survive.
New York City's downtown district will once again thrive.
The entire nation's will come together and fight.

No one knows when or where we will find the evil responsible
And as our wounds heal and we struggle
God will take the souls of all those lost
And we will continue to search until all our resources we will exhaust.
Goodbye old friends.

We may never see the Twin's again but their spirit will always be there.
In these times of horror our stories we will share
Praying for all those lost and each other
Praying for mother, sister, cousin, father and brother.
God will be with us.

As the black smoke turns to white
And we know that the fight is for what's right.
Many are missing, presumed to be dead
They will be missed but we must look ahead.
Sept. 11th 2001 will forever be in our hearts and minds.

We will band together; will this cause world war three?
Will any good ever come from this misery?
Will the evil be brought to justice?
We will not be gracious.

LOST TRUST

by CRVM
As I await your decision my eyes swell with tears

I have lost my innocence in these passing years.

You taught me cruelness and hate

You taught me evil is inate.

As I beg for forgiveness I ask you to see

The true beauty that is within me.

You tore my soul apart

Then rushed to depart.

I forgave

Every rant and rave.

But when the hitting started i could take no more

I longed for the man I was with before.

Darkness soon surrounded me and tore me apart

It took me forever to heal a broken heart.

Now when you see me you ask how Ive been

I know not what to say to you as you stare and grin.

You as if i still love you, I never really did

I was just a stupid, innocent, little kid.

You betrayed every trust i ever bestowed upon you

I believed you loved me but love isnt something that you do.

You lust very fiercely

But you love stingily.

You used my body for your pleasure

But never did my heart u treasure.

You asked me to do things I did only for you

Things I swear now i would never again do.

You said that you loved me but all that was a lie.

You made mebelieve in you i could rely.

How could I be so stupid, love is so blind

Now I know I was right to leave all that behind.

So when you ask me how im doing I will plainly say

I am better off with out you and get happier every day.

DESPAIR
by CRVM 1995

Conscious thoughts reveal none of the terror dreams portray
Haunting images of evil and human ignorance linger into the day.
Sights so vicious and violent torment the night
But barely last till the morning light.
Addictions can not be denied
Love is earned not just supplied.
Temptation is great
And wickness is part of our fate.
Lied to by the saints
One faints.
Needing to find good in anything one can see,
Almost never finding it and if so just sparingly.
What kind of place do we live in? Where else can we go?
Is it better when we die does anyone really know?
Change is trying to come about into our vicious day
But will it ever break through or the notion just fade away.
Too many horrors, too muchdecay
Too many dreams shattered, to ever say.
So this little lamb is lost
At this cruel world's cost.

ALL THINGS DIVINE

By CRVM 2002

I can feel you here beside me
I can feel you touch me inside
I can feel your comfort quiet all my inner cries.
I can place myself with you and never fear pain
I can be out with you and never feel the rain.
I can hold you close to me and never let you go
For you are always with me no matter where I go.
I can live my life forever and never be alone
For I know you are with me away or at home.
My heart will hold you near me no matter what I do
And I will always be grateful to you.
Thank you for the blessings you given unto me
Thank you for the suffering that made me see.
Thank you for the love you always give
May I be the one to learn to so easily forgive.
I ask you for so much and yet remain here still
I only ask now that I do your divine will.

TWO HEARTS

By CRVM 2002

His arms reached out to console
These events have taken there toll.
His embrace leaves you feelling free
But only here is where that can be.
His kiss entices, his touch ensnares
He has taken away your nightmares.
Older and more patient down you lay
Some how with him you can find the way.
No fear or pain do you feel
Only love and a way to heal.
Together there is nothing you can not face
With his strength and your grace.
Different from so many yet still the same
Why do they believe it all a game?
He loves as strong as any
The same as many.
Two find comfort as one
Now the loneliness is done.
Why you two so wrong,
If the love is so strong?
Why if a lock and key fit must they be kept apart?
Why are only the opposites allowed to follow there hearts?
Why is a penis and a vagina correct,
When a penis and and an anus can also connect?
Why when these two men kiss,
Do people boo and hiss?
Have they not the right to love?
Do you really believe they are cursed from above?
God is not hateful so why are we?
Can't we all find love and let it be?

Despaired Guardian

By CRVM 2002

         Oh my I had a dream
     What a scary tale it had to tell
         I dreamt I saw an angel
          Who wasn't feeling well.
       It's body bruised and battered
     It's wings were ripped and torn
       This angel could hardly walk
       It looked so tired and worn.
Up to this heavenly creature I went and asked
        "Angel, how could this be!"
      It turned around and looked
            Then said unto me
         "I am your guardian angel,
       A great task as you can see.
     You have suffered much this life
      and see what it has done to me.
    These bruises are from shielding you
      In times of pain, harm and ill,
For things you have done and those you have suffered through
         I've often paid the bill.
You see my wings are ripped and torn, my heart in despair
        Because of how often they have flown you
                From evils unaware.
          Each mark has its own story
          Of deadly wounds destroyed.
           Sometimes I have wished
            That I was unemployed.
             I could not believe
              all I had heard
           Let alone how much despair
            this angel had incurred.
           I wept upon it's shoulder
            Then left with a thought.
      If I turned to God more often
     would I end this angel's distraught.
       And when I spoke these words aloud
     in the distance I could swear I heard
   a battered, worn, guardian sing like a song bird.